Mas se eu não viesse

Video, 3:05, text & sound, 2017

Life tends to be cyclical. You are born, you live your chilhood and go through your teen years, you grow up, find a person you love, get married, have a child. Just as your parents did and their parents. Humanity is a series of loops that keep on with time, birth and death, birth and death.

But there is also the other cycle of life, the micro-cycle, at individual level, the one in which you find your loved one, you break up, you find someone else, you break up again and the cycle goes on up to the point where you finally find someone for the rest of your life. Or not. The one in which you make mistakes and either learn from them or you don't, which dooms you to repeat them.

The cycle however repeats itself despite the individual’s life or destiny. There are differences between each life, just like the long or short seconds in this video installation. But in the grand scheme of life, all cycles are the same. They start at some point and end up at another. And then it goes again and again, in a neverending loop.

How important is each of us and how small are we, as individuals, in the grand scheme? How do we know it? How far do we go when we start to imagine our lives? What’s the difference between what we dream of and what truly happens or happened? How many confusions of what’s real and what’s not?

If you take Miguel Gomes’ Tabu monologue scene in the Estoril restaurant out of the context, it's a poem. Taking the subtitles as they are, removing the timestamps and printing it, makes a poetry about transcending the reality-dream borders, it’s both a path down the memory lane and also a prediction of a past that will be presented in the future.

It's a parallel story of life as seen in death and of death as seen in a life lived both in Paradise and in Hell.

“I’m such a fool: people’s lives are not like dreams”, says Aurora, but as she’d still be wondering, that’s what we’d also probably do. Life is a loop of neverending questions about how would have things turned out if we wouldn’t have taken that chance.